Praying for a miracle, expecting the worst.

I went in for an ultrasound this afternoon. After one minute, the ultrasound tech stopped what she was doing and told me to go straight to the ER.

Not exactly what you want to have happen.

We rushed over to Metro Health, praying the whole way.

After an ultrasound and bloodwork, the doctor finally came in to give us the news.

This baby will not survive.

The amniotic fluid is so low, that even if the baby does make it to 30+ weeks, it will not survive. The lungs will not develop and the baby will certainly die in the first few days of life.

What caused it? The cause as of this moment is unknown. It could be that the baby does not have kidneys, it could be that at some point my water ruptured, it could be a slow leak over time. In any case, the baby will not develop and grow properly without fluid. Looking at the ultrasound, there is just so little fluid I do not have much hope for a happy outcome.

The absolute hardest part for me was that as the doctor was telling me that this baby will not survive, the baby was kicking like mad. To know that the baby will die and yet still be so attached to this little life...it is misery.

Things we covet your prayers for:

1) A miracle. We are expecting the worst, but sincerely praying for a miracle. My God is big and the great physician. If it is His will to fix this, it will be done.

2) My prayer from the beginning is that I would accept the outcome of this pregnancy, no matter what. That is still my prayer tonight.

3) The weeks waiting will go by quickly. Not knowing when all this is going to happen is stressful for me. I probably will not go full term, but this could last another 16 weeks.

4) My kids. They really do not understand what is going on and just keep asking over and over "Why is the baby going to die?"

5) The rest of my family. Josh, my parents, siblings...it is difficult for the whole family when something like this happens.

As for me, I am taking a little break from tech life for a while and go on autopilot. We go tomorrow to my doctor to see if he can tell us any more information and I will update here if there is anything more.

We covet your prayers through the next few weeks, as they are going to be really tough for our whole family. Thanks in advance for your prayers offered on our behalf.


The Lord gives, the Lord takes. May His name be ever blessed.